22 Sep “THAT’s a match!” dating offline
Marriage market
Usual thing in Shanghai (the People’s Park), and in other big cities of China
Some could be too demanding! Selective, needy, and even offensive… so no wonder many just go with “fake it till you make it” : PHOTOSHOP, MEDALS OF HONOUR, TOP MANAGEMENT WAGE, DREAM CAR in you non-existing garage, PHOTO with a random PENTHOUSE on the background, and more what can be used to win more “followers”, um or say, candidates on all of this listed “assets”.
‘JOKING?!’, ‘What, wait WHAT?’, ‘Cant be real!’, ‘BRAVO, you ARE total freak’ — usual feedback when passing this matchmaking “zone”.
“Matchmaking” market or how its called today? Thought to be a trustworthy venue since your parents would pick your mate: Your mom or dad would go there and clip your printed CV, personal profile “all included” — age, height, weight, job, education — on the umbrella or on a brick where everyone can see it, the more the better, whoever passes this #100+… smth umbrellas. Perfect place for parents to chill and finally coupled their kid in a wed knot. But first, arrange a blind date.
Interesting text I read in one blog, of a woman who did read many of those umbrella “profiles”, and summed up their demands…
Women :“… man should have his own apartment in Shanghai (preferably without a mortgage), a car, and a high paying job.”
Men:“… woman should be good looking, have a white-collar job, and be a Shanghai native (i.e., have a hukou).”
You might say, ‘ OH MY! This is weird and silly’, but hey, this is all comes down to tradition that worked in place for centuries … Still practiced in China, India, Russia…just in different form but same idea: Parents hit it off? Good! Then 100 % their offspring will match. That’s the idea. Bet there are many failed, HORRIBLE blind dates after this “matchmaking”.
And forget about their written demands — with who they wish to pair — they all just to get attention, as like what I call a prosecutor principle ( write a lot of cases to accuse with but in the end judge by one).
My interest would be in: How many failed and how many gripped…? Statistics need to be done for sake of…my interest or jeweller sponsors and wed gowns.
This method or way to meet your partner, would work in families where traditions come first. The final word always up to elders. Discipline and abidance to their seniors, that they pursue, is something to learn, but I bet its hell of a stress to question with who your parents setting you up.
You've been Matched...or Booked?
Set-up marriages by parents work in many countries. Asian and African continents mastered this.
Not that ALL Russians or Indians or Chinese or African countries follow this tradition but there are many religious sub-cultures, that strictly follow that.
‘Our marriages are strong and long-lasting ( till death)’ as they say. Ok, thats what they say ,and fair enough, it is very lasting till “RIP”. Um, what about …Do this set-ups really making so loving couples? Or it’s “strong’ and “lasting” because it’s sort of a shame to divorce; Be abandoned by your family, in those highly traditional societies, is the biggest fear out of any. Being a female myself, know how many women chose to handle what they have, as their only option. Oh, if some woman dares to divorce, it would swiftly turn her life upside down… shortly ground her status to a “leftover” or “unwanted”, and more to go on, same old abusive epithets.
Face a giggling public, tittle-tattle, ‘she had her chance, and she failed’, ‘who is up to deal with a ‘thrown away’ — divorced — and what if she is a single mother or left her kids, thats even more troubling to mess with!’.
In traditional family you learn to leave with it, hoping to never have this upon you, but in non-religious groups, this phrase for women goes well with childfree policy — either to have a kid to tie a man or to not ever marry — … Two sides of a coin, in 21st century, finally the second might lean over the first.
Make sense, when sum it all up — cultural and social norms — filter bigger picture what really limit some folks in Eastern countries to trust Dating app compare to dudes and chicks in the West( such as USA, UK, Germany, France…).
Note: Meanwhile, the Childfree policy, nowadays, mostly goes with the wallet-ripping cost for living in big cities, just saying…
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